Letters
by musicnlyrics
Summary: A collection of letters sent back and forth between Cordy and Spike. Who knows what these two loud-mouthed heroes will end up saying to each other... [A kind of cross-over between Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.] Rated T for possible later letters (mostly language).
1. From Cordelia

Okay, Spike. Here's the deal.

I don't like you. I think you're evil (well, duh-vampire), your hair is too blonde (although, strangely enough, it works for you), your nail polish needs to be either taken off or fixed, and you need to stop smoking. I don't care if it won't do anything to your lungs-it hurts those around you, and according to Willow, you can't hurt people anymore. So stop.

The last time I saw you, you had just finished torturing Angel. Shame on you. I don't care that you don't have a soul-he's your Sire! You have that whole Sire-connection-bondy-thingy with him! I know you both downplay it, but it's still there. Angel once told me that he had a connection with those he Sired, but it was basically only useful in telling when the vamps are around. He's a liar. I can tell. With you two, it goes beyond that.

I know that I told you I didn't like you, and I don't, but I just...I don't know. There was a feeling-creepo that was here (and he brought Wesley with him, even though he didn't mean to), and he tricked Angel into believing he was harmless. Well. He's a liar, too. He totally kidnapped me and almost ripped out my eyes, all because I got visions from a certain person right before he died. After Angel and Wesley saved me, I started thinking about He-Who-Is-Not-Alive (not Angel) and what the three of us went through together.

When you popped into my head, I had to tell you how I feel. I don't like you. I think it, I say it. Although...I'm technically writing it. I know that you probably don't care, but it had to get out there. I don't like bottling things up inside, leaving them to fester and grow and sprout new little sprouts of festering festers...and I have enough secrets in my head already. That way lies badness of the really evil kind.

I don't know if you'll get this, or even read it if you do, but I feel better. I figured you wouldn't have a Post Office-approved address, so I'm sending this to you through Willow, so hopefully she'll find a way to get it to you. The last time we talked, she said you and she were kind of okay. Whatever that means.

Hurt me or my boss, and I'll stake you.

Cordelia Chase

(Current office manager of Angel Investigations - soon to be actress extraordinaire)

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**Disclaimer: The author claims no ownership of anything recognizable to the Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer franchise. No financial compensation is garnered, and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: Well, I hope everyone who reads this enjoys it. Special thanks go out to ****_cmol8806 _****for convincing me that it's okay to post something this length. I hope to have more for you all soon! Please take the time to review and let me know what you thought. :)**


	2. From Spike

Cheerleader, you have no clue who you're talkin' to. You don't wanna mess with the Big Bad Spike. I'll make what happened to the Poof look like candy compared to what I'll do to you and your friends. Don't think I won't.

And just so you know, my hair is not too blonde, and my nails are just fine.

And the Poof had better take care of you.

* * *

**Disclaimer: The author claims no ownership of anything publicly recognizable to either the Angel or the Buffy the Vampire Slayer franchises. No monetary profit is garnered, and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: Hi, again! :) I had originally intended to post Spike's reaction to the letter as an outtake later on but, after talking with **_**cmol8806**_** (who is fabulous by the way), I decided to post that in a couple of days. I know this is short, but it's Spike. He wrote poetry, not letters. Besides, he's still in the "I'm a big, bad vampire" stage with Cordy right now… :)**


	3. From Cordelia to Spike

I'm sitting at work doing nothing related to what I should be doing, and I'm marveling at the shortness that is your letter. Can you not even ask how I'm doing? Or even about how much cigarettes are in LA? Don't think I didn't notice your lack of addressing the whole 'smoking hurts people' subject. You skirted that like the skirt I wore yesterday, except yours went all the way down to the floor.

And your whole 'I'm a big, bad scary vamp' doesn't fool me for a second. You may call yourself 'Spike' or 'William the Bloody' in front of crowds, and that's fine. Have your delusions. I know that William the Poet still lurks in there somewhere. If he didn't, you wouldn't have said anything about Angel taking care of me.

Thank you for that, by the way. It's nice to be remembered by someone who doesn't see me every day. Angel goes off after asking if I'm okay and what he needs to kill, and Wesley just bounds after him trying to score brownie points and brown-nosing his way onto Angel's good side. It's nice to be cared about, even by a 'big, bad vampire.'

I have a question: does the fact that I'm writing you back make us pen pals or something? I mean, I was never one to write back and forth, so this is new for me. I don't exactly know what to say now…. I guess I could tell you about what's happening here.

Right after I wrote you, one of Angel's 'children' came and tormented everyone. He had Wesley by the throat, pumped me for information, almost killed a cop lady that Angel knows, and totally screwed with Angel's head. Then, I got impregnated by demon spawn. It was a whole big thing.

I had gone out dating this REALLY cute guy named Wilson a few times, and the third time I invited him in to my apartment. I knew that Phantom Dennis (he's my ghost) would be jealous, but I didn't realize he would resort to playing polka music to kill the mood. Turns out, polka would have been nice compared to what I woke up to.

After…you know…I woke up in the morning (and I was so late for work), and Wilson was gone…but I was pregnant. I was really pregnant. I was about-ready-to-pop pregnant. I didn't know what to do, but Angel and Wesley eventually came over around noon, give or take fifteen minutes, and they did all they could to help out. Angel found the guy, and Wesley took me to the OB/GYN (talk about major awkwardness) to find out what was inside of me.

Long story short: seven heartbeats, I went crazy, and Angel and Wesley saved the day and me from having to give birth to demon children and almost certain death.

Of course, now I feel like I have to buy them lattés for saving me, but somehow that just doesn't seem like enough. After I went back into the office, they were both tripping over themselves to make sure I didn't strain my pinky toe. I have to say…sometimes, chivalry isn't dead. It's just hiding in the body of a geek and in the bodies of undead creature-of-the-night vampires who have problems with women. And you can't say anything or get huffy: you went out with Drusilla.

Cordelia

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**Disclaimer: The author claims ownership of nothing that is recognizable to the Angel franchise, or to that of the Buffy: the Vampire Slayer franchise. No monetary profit is garnered and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: Thank you so much to those who have reviewed and added this to your alert list. It means so much to me to hear what you think. If you have the time, send me a review and let me know how I can improve, what you liked, what you want to happen next, etc. Thank you again for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. I hope to post more in the next week or so.**


	4. From Spike to Cordelia

Cheerleader, the price of cigarettes in LA is of no interest to me. I've got a pack right here in my pocket.

As for the whole 'second hand smoke kills' line, save it. The only person I'll smoke around is Xander. Little git thinks that the chip is enough to show off to his girlfriend – that I won't do anything. Well, he's wrong!

And I don't need to ask how you're doing. I can tell from the way you write. You're putting on a front that only fools those around you. Peaches is dumber than I thought if he doesn't take the time to notice how badly you're hurting.

And 'pen pals' sounds so juvenile, like we're both in primary school writing to a long-lost family member. Yeah, I guess we are.

You got pregnant by a big daddy demon? That's new. I always knew there were demons out there that created armies that way, but I never realized one would be in Los Angeles, of all places. I bet the Poof got all "protector" on you and killed the damn thing.

And yeah, I went with Dru for a time. Bloody fabulous, she was … literally. But she went off with a chaos demon – I'm done with her.

Keep up a smile, yeah?

**Disclaimer: The author claims ownership of nothing that is publicly recognizable to the Angel franchise, or to that of the Buffy: the Vampire Slayer franchise. No monetary profit is garnered and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: To begin, this letter and the one that precedes it were not beta-ed. The lovely and talented **_**cmol8806**_** has been dealing with things that shouldn't have to be dealt with, but if I can ease her load just a smidge, then I'll do it. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers, and send lots of love her way.**

**Massive thanks to those who have reviewed. I know that more have read and alerted, and I would love to hear from them, as well, but the fact that time was taken to let me know how I was doing has made all the difference. Truly, now I understand the authors who wonder if it's worth continuing what they've begun.**

**I'm always ridiculously nervous about posting for this story – there was never much interaction between Spike and Cordelia, so figuring out how the two would interact with the other has been a real challenge. If you think I can work on something, or that something might not happen, or might happen a different way, write a review or shoot me a PM. **

**Again, thank you to all who have reviewed. **


	5. To Spike

Spike, the only person I would let you smoke around is you. Xander Harris may be the scum of Sunnydale, but I have no doubt that even if you wanted to, that chip of yours would keep you from doing anything. So why not just leave him alone? Threaten him if you need to, scare him half to death, but don't cause any actual harm.

And what do you know about my hurting? There is no front to be put on, Mr. I-Think-I-Know-Everything-About-Cordelia. If Angel can't notice anything even though I see him every day, then you can't notice anything from a bunch of letters. I don't care how in touch with your poet you actually are – there's nothing to notice.

Yeah – the demon pregnancy was a whole big thing. And Angel wasn't alone in killing it. He threw liquid nitrogen into it (how he got ahold of liquid nitrogen, I have no idea…I don't think I _want_ to know), Wesley shot it (who knew he was such a good shot?) and I broke it into hundreds of little pieces. It was a group effort, really…especially once I got control of my brain back. Tiny little suckers were telepathically linked to the demon, and they were controlling me the same way. Talk about YEESH.

And – gross. I so do NOT need or want to hear about your escapades with Drusilla. I've got enough gore going on in my head, thank you very much.

And I'm Cordelia. I always have a smile for the public. :D

Go drink some blood or something.

**Disclaimer: The author claims ownership of nothing that is publicly recognizable to the Angel and/or Buffy the Vampire Slayer franchises. No monetary profit is garnered and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: Again, this has not been beta-ed. I'm still sending love, prayers, and good thoughts towards **_**cmol8806,**_** and hope that everything turns out alright for her. **

**Again, so many thanks go out to the few who have reviewed. I would love if more reviewed and let me know what they thought, but I suppose I can't force anybody. I would just like to say, however, that simply reading a story doesn't let the author know if it's worth continuing or not. It's rather discouraging to realize that only a very few are giving their opinions. I have seriously considered ending these letters earlier than I had planned, and I will continue to give that notion thought. However, for the time being, I will continue to write letters between Spike and Cordelia.**


	6. To a Former Cheerleader

Cordelia, there is no need to bring up the damn chip in every single letter. I know it's there, the Slayer knows it's there; you know it's there. And I'm betting by now the Poof knows it's there, as well. Am I right?

And I may scare Xander just for the fun of it. Nice to know I have your permission, though.

You may _think_ there's no front to be put on, and you can continue denying it. But I can tell. You act as though nothing bothers you until you can't help but show it. You keep mentioning how you've got things going on in your head, which makes me believe that I'm the only person you've really talked to about it. How do you think Peaches would feel if he found out you were hiding something big from him? Of course, I don't know what it is, but I would bet Angel would want to know.

And, as it happens, I've a bag of blood right here with me. Here's to you. Cheers.

**Disclaimer: The author claims ownership of nothing recognizable to the Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer franchises. No monetary profit is garnered and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: Finally. The semester's over, finals are done, and I can actually sit and write…even if it is a short letter from a vampire to a former cheerleader. :) Anyway, like I said: the semester has officially ended for me, so hopefully you shouldn't have to wait this long for another update.**

**Again, this is not beta'd. I didn't want to make anyone wait any longer, so I am definitely open to [constructive] criticism.**

**Thank you so much to those who have reviewed. Please continue to let me know what you think.**


	7. From a Former Cheerleader

I was beginning to think you weren't going to write anymore. I mean, I know I'm not the poster child for timely correspondence, but still … almost a whole month had gone by and … nothing. I didn't know if you had gotten staked or if you were just out getting more kittens for poker night (Angel told me all about it). And by the way, kitten poker? That's ridiculous, even for you.

And yes, Angel knows about the chip. He doesn't think it really counts. I do, though. I mean, as long as you realize that what you can't do is wrong, I don't see why it shouldn't.

And as I said, there is no front. What people see is what people get. And what I get are mind-numbing, head-splitting, eyeball-melting vision headaches. Tell me what I saw in order to get them, because I would un-see it in a heartbeat.

The thing is … they're getting worse. And I have no clue how to tell Wesley and Angel. Every time I even think about talking to either of the two boneheads, something happens. First, a war from another dimension made its way onto our turf (and let me tell you – they care for no one but themselves. Wesley and I could have died!), and then this little kid that got possessed by a fully grown Ethros demon. Have you ever seen a fully grown Ethros demon? Well … neither have I, but Angel says it was taller than him! But that wasn't all: it turns out, the little kid was the menace all along – and no, his name wasn't Dennis. He ended up setting his house on fire, and the fire department says that the fire originated in his little sister's bedroom. What kind of messed up does anyone have to be, let alone a kid, to purposely set their own house on fire?

After that, cop lady's dad died. He got mixed up in some shady business dealings with an evil law firm called Wolfram and Hart – have I mentioned them before? They're evil. Anyway, long story short: her dad died, she caught Angel there, and now she hates him. The fact that he can't make her see reason made him brood a little more when it first happened, but recently, I think it's just pissing him off. You know the saying, "It's better to be pissed off than pissed on?" Well, I think he's feeling a little of both at the moment...

The last thing that's happened here was that Angel got tricked and captured. Well, we all got tricked, but he was the only one who got captured. The jerks that trapped him were in charge of this underground demon fighting ring – you make twenty-one kills, you're set free. You can imagine how well that sat with Angel. Wesley and I ended up sneaking in (semi-legitimately) and getting our hands (_my_ hands) on one of the bracelet things they were using to keep everyone from escaping. After a little maneuvering and a lot of guesswork, the two of us finally figured out how to open the damn things.

Ever since then, Angel's kind of gone back to his "sit in the dark and mope and brood" gig. Right now, in fact, he's sitting in his office and … smiling? That's not brooding. He should be brooding.

I have to go find out why he's not brooding.

**Disclaimer: The author claims no ownership of any publicly recognizable franchise, including but not limited to: characters, place, and plotline. No monetary profit is garnered and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: So, a little shameless self-promoting isn't a bad thing. The very end is a tie-in to my story **_**The Ring**_**, which is posted on my profile.**

**Thanks go to the lovely **_**cmol8806**_**. She and I are both tasked with classes and other issues, so she means the world to me. Take a minute to go by her profile, check out her stories, and drop her a line.**

**As always, thank you to those who take a moment to leave their thoughts in a review. It makes the writing process easier to know where the audience wants the story to go. That being said: leave a review! :) I would definitely love to have your opinion.**


	8. Spike's First Outtake

Cheerleaders.

The bint sent a letter to the redhead. Sure, the little witch was more than happy to pass it along, but still. I don't need it to be public record that I'm on friendly terms with humans. Her comment about me not having a Post Office-approved address (while completely true) just hurt. My crypt's perfect. Or it was, 'til Harmony got her undead hands on it. Blonde bitch.

The brunette doesn't know what she's talkin' about. My hair's not too blonde. And hell yeah, it works for me. And my polish is just fine. I don't need to listen to her. Although...she _did _have good taste, for a cheerleader... And smoking doesn't count with the damn chip. I don't think. But I'm not gonna test it. Don't care to. Not worth it. I'll just keep 'em away from humans. Yeah.

And the girl's got a point - shame on me. I should've had a more hands-on bonding time with my Sire before he got away. And good luck with the guilt trip, Cheerleader! I got those from the master of guilt trips, and Angelus was ten times worse! He always got the good kills that way. Ponce. And she can stop with the Sire/Childe connection bit. Now. She can't hold a candle to those guilt trips. No lives on the line. But...she lives in LA with the master of guilt trips. Bloody perfect.

At least she can tell when Peaches is lyin'. It'll save her heartbreak in the future.

And hell yeah, she doesn't like me. I'm the Big Bad. But the "feeling-creepo" she mentioned - sounds like something she shouldn't have to deal with. The Poof had better take care of her, that's all I'm saying. And I'm not even saying it out loud. And who the hell is 'He-Who-Is-Not-Alive?' In this town (and theirs), it could be the next random lay across the street! Not that I care.

And good for her for thinking and saying. Bitches around here keep things inside. Even I know that's not healthy, and I don't need to worry about health. Not really, anyway. And I don't care. Nope. But she needs to get rid of those secrets. They're not good. Obviously, the bint's not telling Peaches.

Damn it. She got me caring.

* * *

**Disclaimer: The author claims no ownership of anything publicly recognizable to the Angel and/or Buffy: the Vampire Slayer franchises. No monetary profit is garnered and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: I know it's not the next letter, but I wanted to give you guys something. I've just started summer classes, had a family reunion, and got sick from my niece's germs at said reunion. I will try to have another letter for you guys soon, but I don't want to make a promise I could end up breaking. **

**Thank you so much for being patient with me, and I hope you let me know what you think. **


	9. From a Chipped Vampire

What is it with girls and kitten poker? Some people play with chips, some with kittens. It's all about the cards!

I'm a bloody vampire, Cordelia. What is wrong doesn't really matter to me. However, now that I can't have any more Happy Meals on legs, I just want them all the more, and that just makes it cruel.

No vampire should have to suffer this way.

You keep telling yourself that, Cheerleader. A chip is what I've got – a front is what you've got, no matter what happened in order for you to get them.

Information overload – too much at once. Okay, so the war of the worlds. It's true that they're only concerned for themselves – they could probably say the same about us.

Yes, I have come across an Ethros – they're tricky. They like to destroy. How'd that go? You know…besides the little kid and all.

Good joke with Dennis the Menace. Try telling one of those to the Poof – he always did like The Funnies.

And cop lady would be…..who? Angel always was a shifty, crafty one…seems she has a reason to be suspect of him.

I've heard of those underground fighting rings, too. They're mainly popular in the big cities, since the demon population has more of a variety there. Big ticket types, you know? It's no wonder they picked him.

You find out what he was doing instead?

Let me know more about this front, yeah?

* * *

**A/N:** The author claims no ownership of any publicly recognizable characters or places; all mentioned characteristics, barring the initial idea of the plot, are the property of their respective owners. No monetary profit is garnered, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Hello. :) I just want to thank those of you still reading. This is a really difficult time (RL is rather depressing at the moment), and I haven't much been in a writing mood as of late.

However, I am getting to the point where I can get back into a writing groove (even if it is still somewhat melancholy a tone of story/chapter/letter), and I plan for updates to be more frequent than they have been.

Again, thank you so much to those who have stuck around. Your support is incredible. Please: take the time to review. I would really love to hear what you have to say about the story.

**This letter is unbeta'd, so any and all mistakes are my own. If you see a mistake, please feel free to PM me and let me know.


	10. To a Chipped Vampire

Are you seriously asking what's wrong with kitten poker? How about the fact that you're playing with little bitty kittens? Who cares about the cards – let those poor babies have a snack and then send them home. Some little girl may be dying for company, and you all are depriving her of it!

And yes, what's wrong does matter to you. If it didn't, you'd find a way to eat your Happy Meals, even though you feel the pain. And Angel does it, too, even though he wouldn't feel physical pain – his would be all mental and emotional.

Yes. War of the worlds; Ethros; cop lady's father … cop lady is the woman who sometimes helps out with some of the more … legal … aspects of our work. She had access to some resources that we didn't, and in return, we helped her from time to time.

I wasn't there, but the Ethros is now dead… Angel vented his feelings, which is a rather rare occurrence.

And thank you for thinking my joke was funny. I didn't mean for it to be – it was meant to be a scathing remark on your choice of reading material – but then I got to tease Angel. He didn't appreciate it too much, but it was fun nonetheless. ….That's a very long word.

And no, I never did find out was he was thinking… I kind of got a little hysterical as soon as I asked him, and he was able to sneak his way out of answering the question. It's not like one of those things that you can just sneak into conversation – once the moment's gone, it's gone. Unfortunately.

What front are you talking about? I see no front.

* * *

**Disclaimer: The author claims no ownership of anything recognizable to the Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer franchise. No financial compensation is garnered, and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: **I know. It's been too long. FAR too long. I could give you a seemingly endless list of reasons as to why I haven't written, but the one I'll settle for is emotions. I have been put on a rollercoaster of emotions over the past few months, and I'm only just now starting to anticipate the twists and turns. Of course, they can't always be anticipated - even just the other day, an unexpected upside-down loop was thrown into the mix, and I'm still reeling.

Let me know what you think, and I hope to have another chapter soon. I make no promises (as this last wait has proven), other than this: I will never abandon a story. I would let not only you down, but myself, as well. I will complete what I start, and I hope you stick with me.

Thank you all for being amazing.


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